How Happy are YOU?

I’m writing this on the little porch of my family’s summer cottage in Old Saybrook, CT. The screen door is cracked open, the sun is shining in the windows, I have a fresh cup of locally roasted, fresh-ground, organic coffee next to me, there are cats sleeping and exploring around me and birds singing outside. Sure, there are things I need to do and I have plenty of “problems,” but THIS MOMENT is lacking nothing. This moment is perfect…

As always, I’m being deeply affected by Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now.” This is my third time through the book in a year and EVERY time I read it I have a major shift in my thinking and approach to life. It’s that transformational. I think one of the greatest lessons I learned – and continue to learn – from that book is about being happy NOW vs. living in the future. In fact, there are a few passages in that book that connected with me on such a deep level I dropped the entire life I was living a year ago and changed virtually EVERYTHING I was doing.

Now is ALL You Have…

It’s a bit crazy to think about, but NOW is all you have. You don’t really “have” the future because it’s not here yet – you can only imagine it NOW. And you don’t “have” the past because it’s gone. The past is just a memory – a memory you’re having NOW. Yeah, the future is something we all strive to make better – especially us goal-focused athletes and over-achievers.

But, living in a miserable hell NOW, so we can get to some imagined place where everything is “great” later, is pretty nuts.

Sure, there’s delayed gratification and working toward goals and hard work. I talked about these in my post “I’ll Never Be Good Enough…” I’m not talking about that. What I’m talking about is NOT being happy NOW and looking toward a future – that you imagine NOW – where you CAN be happy.

Yes, we want the future to be better, but we MUST be enjoying the present – The NOW – while we’re working toward the future we believe will be better. If we’re living in constant struggle and misery NOW – so we can be happy LATER – we’re likely deluding ourselves. In MY past, the idea that the next job, the next promotion, the next relationship, the next car or motorcycle or the next degree would FINALLY get me to a place where I felt complete and happy created a PERPETUAL state of working and struggling and striving NOW to have something I wanted LATER. I did almost none of the things I LOVED and VALUED NOW because I was working so hard to create a life where I’d be able to do them later.

It’s really crazy when you see it in words. I was working myself sick, miserable and exhausted day after day, month after month and year after year so I could get my life to a place where I could do what I wanted and loved. And, of course, that life I was working for never came. There was always another repair on the house, another life catastrophe, another degree I needed, another layoff in a job when I was expecting a promotion, another crazy high-drama girlfriend when I thought I had met “The One.” IT NEVER ENDED. IT NEVER FREAKIN’ ENDED…

It only ended when I ended it and left that life behind. And I did THAT by following my heart and doing what I loved and valued NOW. Not later. NOW.

Do What You Love and Be Happy NOW…

Here’s the thing: You only have so much time, so much energy and so much LIFE. Delayed gratification is good but you MUST be enjoying the process too. Here’s Eckhart Tolle’s take on this from “The Power of Now:”

“Are you always trying to get somewhere other than where you are? Is most of your doing just a means to an end? Is fulfillment always just around the corner or confined to short-lived pleasures such as sex, food, drink, drugs or thrills and excitement? Are you always focused on becoming, achieving and attaining, or alternatively chasing some new thrill or pleasure? Do you believe that if you aquire more things you will become more fulfilled, good enough, or psychologically complete? Are you waiting for a man or woman to give meaning to your life?”

See how crazy it is? You can’t live in the future! You can ONLY live NOW! If your whole life is striving for goals and perfection and achievement you lose the only thing you truly have – the present. The past and future don’t exist, you only have the present. You only have this moment. You only have NOW. Will it be great to nail a new PR in the deadlift? YES! Will it feel awesome when you finally get a new belt in the martial art you’re training in? YES! SO many things will feel wonderful to accomplish and SHOULD be accomplished if they mean something to you. But you MUST be enjoying the process and the journey!

It’s the difference between someone who feels if they look better and perform better they’ll be happy and fulfilled – and they HATE working out, eating right is a miserable struggle and they’d rather be out drinking and partying and eating pizza with their friends. Every minute of their life is a hell they endure so they can be happy in the future… Compare that to someone who wants to look and perform better and LOVES to work out. Someone who looks forward to going to train, seeing friends at the gym, the warm up, the workout, the post-workout meal, going to bed sore and exhausted. Yes, you need to have a destination in mind, but you also need to focus on – and LOVE – the journey.

And, if you HATE the journey, you need to either do serious work on your attitude or seriously change your daily journey. Maybe both…

When You’re Training, You Have No Problems…

Here’s an easy illustration for you. Think about the last really good workout you had. That workout where you felt great, were pushing for a new PR and KNEW you’d get it. The workout where you ran a little further, pushed yourself harder or moved more weight than ever before. Remember it? Now, did you have any problems during that workout? I mean – in THAT MOMENT – were you thinking about your life problems? Were you thinking about the errands you needed to do after the workout? Were you thinking about what you were going to eat when you were done training? Were you thinking about your bills? NO! You were 100% “In The Now!” THAT is what Tolle is talking about and THAT is what Enlightenment is. When you’re training your sense of time changes and your noisy “thinking mind” shuts off. You just do – completely present, in The Now and focused.

It’s THAT simple. Of course, Eckhart is talking about LIVING with that type of consciousness as opposed to only visiting it rarely. And THAT takes a lifetime of practice…

That’s it for now. (Get it, “now” ;-)). If you want to learn more about applying this type of thinking to training and day to day goal setting, check out my post “SINS Challenge Update – Setting Smaller Goals…”

ttys

Adam

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