Today I realized what it truly means to move on.
I’ve always been interested in the PRACTICAL side of things. How concepts translate into the real world. That’s the reason this blog is called Practical Paleolithic and that’s why my book “The Paleo Dieter’s Missing Link” is all about creating results in the real world with Paleo principles as opposed to following a dogmatic, non-individualized approach.
One of my biggest life challenges in the past 3 years has been moving on. I’ve had a lot of difficult circumstances and events to move on from and I’ve been terribly stuck more often than not.
I’ve had a really hard time moving past some things that have happened over the previous 10 years. I’m actually certain that I have some kind of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yes, things were actually THAT bad in the past.
And, most of this bad stuff happened in the quest for “success” as it’s defined by Group Think and the old, Industrial Economy that’s dying out and determined to take as many people down with it as it can.
My New World…
I have a ton of wonderful opportunity in front of me. I’m writing 3 articles every issue for Paleo Magazine, my book – the book that I originally self-published in 2011 – found a publisher and will be in all the major retailers and on amazon in November of 2013. A lot of things are going my way.
What’s messed up is that I’ve continued to focus on the past. What should have or could have been different. All my mistakes. All the missed opportunities. It’s like looking at life through a distorted fun house mirror.
There have been a lot of days where all the weight of this past-focused thinking has completely incapacitated me. It’s gotten me stuck to the point I can’t move. It’s caused me to sporadically slip into terrible work habits and problems with lack of focus and procrastination.
Today, I broke free from it.
What I realized is that “moving on” is a physical process.
When I allow myself to get bogged down and effectively “stopped” because the past is so painful and disappointing, THAT ACT – the act of allowing myself to get stuck – is the ACT of not moving on. (Notice that I just talked about the PAST in the PRESENT TENSE? Interesting…)
When I push myself to do the new, fresh work of today – of Now – I am physically moving on.
This is the PRACTICE of moving on.
This is HOW you move on.
Where I’ve been stuck for SO LONG is in HOW to move on. You sit and ruminate and think and replay the past and get more and more stuck and more and more depressed. Then someone who probably means well – be it a therapist, a significant other, a friend – tells you to “move on,” to “let it go.” Of course we WANT to. But HOW?!?!
This is how: Do the good, positive, important work in your life IN SPITE OF the fact that you don’t want to do it at the moment. Do the work that you’re scared of because it feels too big for you. Do the work that someone in your past made you feel not good enough to do. Do it ANYWAY.
That’s the physical act of “moving on” and “letting it go.” And, this is the PRACTICAL side of the well-meaning advice no one has ever been able to tell you or me how to implement.
THIS is how to implement it.
And, if you’re truly stuck and don’t have positive, exciting, passionate work to focus on like I’m blessed to have at the moment, grab a copy of “Stop Saying You’re Fine” by Mel Robbins and work through it. I guarantee it will help get you unstuck.
ttys
Adam
Reading…
- “Stop Saying You’re Fine” by Mel Robbins
- “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
- “I Don’t Want to, I Don’t Feel Like It” by Cheri Huber and Ashwini Narayanan
- A whole page of resources and posts from my friends over at Asian Efficiency about overcoming procrastination: http://www.asianefficiency.com/procrastination/
Adam- Love this article. Just what I needed to hear at this point in time. Thank you! For putting it into words just like that!
So glad, April! Thanks for letting me know!
Adam
Loved this article about moving on. I can truly relate to what you are saying. It’s really depressing when your life has been built around someone for so long and it’s not a healthy relationship, and the time comes to move on. And that period of time where you are in confusing limbo, as that relationship was every part of your life, heart and being. This was a great article. Thank you.
So glad it helped, Kathy. It does get better – just keep moving and working on yourself and growing.
Good luck!
Adam