I laid out my goals for the SINS Challenge a week or so ago. I’m working hard on them – although I’m still on THE FIRST ONE! My book WILL be out in the next few weeks. In fact, I have the structure and organization finished – FINALLY. I’m really just in the final editing stage now…
I did so much writing in college and in my science and business career that I really didn’t think writing a book was such a big deal. Well, IT IS! The fact that I want to do something REALLY special and outstanding is also making it take longer than I wanted. BUT it’s almost there! And when it’s done, that will free up a lot of time for blogging and training and focusing on my diet and rest. So, I’m more or less on track with my SINS Challenge goals. More or less 🙂
I had kind of a wacky day a few days ago…
I’ve had some hard days. Whenever I do high-focus creative stuff – like writing a 100+ page book – I get kind of wacky. My stress level goes up, I can’t focus on anything else and the project is always on my mind. I’m not a “balance” person. I’m an obsessive, manic, hyper-focusing creative type. All I can do is FINISH things so I can get back to feeling normal. If I’m working on something I think is important I get kind of nutty until it’s done…
I’ve been FORCING myself to put the writing aside to train the last week or so. The ONLY thing keeping me on track is knowing that I have other goals that won’t happen overnight and waiting to get moving on them until the book is finished is going to put me too far behind.
So, I dragged my ass out into the garage…
The “voice in the head” was particularly angry today. I was having a hard time focusing and my thoughts kept drifting back to my book and a million other things that are stressing me out. I pushed myself though. I know the weather will be nice in a few weeks and I can either be healthier, more fit and closer to my goals or I can be further away from them.
I dropped my water bottle into one of the Gladiator Bins I recently installed and that felt good. I didn’t really notice it though – like, it didn’t register. I practiced some handstands – which I COMPLETELY suck at – and then worked on jumping rope for 6 – 1 minute sets with a minute break between each. And I also SUCK at jumping rope.
When I got to kettlebell swings I set the Gymboss timer and clipped it to the other wire bin – at the perfect height and the perfect angle – without even thinking about it. Everything fell into place for about a second – the “should’s” and “have to’s” stopped. The angry voice in my head that tells me what an out of shape loser I am stopped. And – for just a second – I was thankful to have a nice place to train that has more than I could ever need.
This morning I was pissed because I want a Log Bar. And because I “should” have already made some Atlas stones – I’ve only had the mold from Slater’s sitting in the box it came in for a year. And the dishes “should” be done and my truck needs to be washed and waxed and my book was supposed to be done last week and I need to do yoga and stretch my shoulders out thoroughly because tomorrow I’m doing 20 Rep Squats and LAST week I had to stop at rep 17 because my shoulder really hurt.
But it’s always right there…
But I can always only be where I am. I want things to be “better” but they’re not. They’re the way they are. I can be mad about it or I can practice jumping rope – even though I completely SUCK at it and keep tripping on the rope every few jumps. Yup, it’s “wrong” and I “should” be better at it but I’m not. I can STAY bad at it or I can keep doing it – and sucking at it – until I don’t suck anymore.
It’s just what it is. This blog post sucks because I’m not focused enough while I’m writing it and my book sucks because it’s not done yet and this chair I’m sitting in sucks because I can’t afford the one I want (it’s like $1200) and whatever else sucks… IN FACT, even though I’m half joking here, I’m realizing right now that I could spend THE REST OF THE DAY listing everything that sucks in my life and all the stuff I want to be better at and “should” be better at. Wow. How’s THAT for a revelation? Focus on the negative much?
But I’m where I am and for that split-second I was feeling OK with where I was – SUCKING AND WORKING LIKE HELL TO GET BETTER. If you can just shut the voice in your head up long enough to see it, you can accept that you are where you are and want to be better – AND WORK ON GETTING BETTER. Or you can drive yourself completely NUTS about how you “should” be there now. That sounds REALLY silly now that I write it. If it was REALLY supposed to be different it would be. When you’ve MADE it different it will be. In the meantime, thinking it “should” be different is just a waste of energy that could be invested into getting you to stop sucking sooner.
That’s about it, I have some stuff to go suck at now…
ttys
Adam
Ok, WOW is all I can say. I’ve had 2 really bad Xfit days in one week. Last night BROKE me! So, no matter how silly you think this blog post is, you were right on time! I needed this. I’m going to take my rest day, re-group, and get back at it until that 35# kettlebell is no longer my enemy.
Looking forward to your book. I have so much to learn. For the record, your blog is the one I follow most consistently and get the most from…because you are REAL!
Striving to be MY best
Leigh
Thanks SO MUCH, Leigh! That means a lot! 🙂
Is it kettlebell swings that are killing you? CrossFitters SUCK at kettlebell swings AND teaching them. They make me cringe when I see them. I taught kettlebells before I got into CrossFit and I was pretty shocked when I saw the swings most boxes teach…
Here’s a thread on swings with a bunch of vids…
http://www.anabolicsociety.net/showthread.php?529-kettlebells
ttys
Adam
Ah…I, too have been have a sucktastic week…didn’t get as many rounds as I wanted during a WOD, flying by the seat of my pants in my classroom, way behind on grading, made some nutritional mistakes…I’m gonna go ahead and blame some of my attitude on the Ohio weather (we have snow on the ground this morning under grey skies), some on my divorce that seems to never end, and part on my own tendancy to be hard on myself.
I think the key is to focus on only the things we can control and work actively towards changing those situations. It’s tough to find balance, but those negative thoughts can actually help us be really productive and successful when used properly!
And props to you for attacking the things you “suck” at (handstands, etc)…so much easier to avoid them!
Meghan,
What I think is funny is that we all “suck” pretty often and assume we’re the only ones. I wonder how many of my professors in college thought they were way behind or “flying by the seat of their pants” while I was thinking they had it all together – and everyone ELSE in the class had it all together – and I was the only one who was behind and not understanding the current topics…
Adam
Great blog today. I make a point to do the workouts that I suck the most at because I know that it is the only way to get better at those things. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses, we just have to chose to push ourselves to do the things we have a harder time with.
Thanks, Debbie! Yeah, I’ve avoided too many weaknesses for too long. Time to go get ’em! 🙂
Adam
Yep it’s the KBS! And your video made it apparent where I am going wrong. Squatting! Great video. Sharing with my fellow Xfitters!!
Glad that helped! Like I said, CrossFitters suck at swings. I don’t know why, but they all do them wrong! LOL
Adam
Thanks, Alison! I suck with the coffee too. HUNDREDS of failed attempts to quit…
I think our relationship has reached a new level lately. We just outright agree with each other instead of agreeing but making it sound like an argument 😉
Adam
Of course Apple knows more about what you mean than you do, Alison. 🙂
I think you’re right about practicing lifting heavier weight. There are all sorts of schemes and progressions and 80% of max and this and that. But you have to wonder how well you’d progress if you just accepted that lifting heavy weight is hard and to lift heavier it’s going to be hard.
I caught myself a few times last week thinking about changing my program because I had “only” gained an extra rep a week on incline bench and “only” gained 10lbs on my 20-Rep squat in 3 weeks. But what if that’s as good as it gets and they way to get better is to do that week after week and month after month?
In the meantime, maybe the reason you can’t do negative pull-ups is because you’re anemic from that vegan diet… 😉
Adam
I DO think a progression is good to have laid out, but I’m not sure you can lay it out perfectly and linearly. I talked to Valery Federenko about this and his take was that poundage progressions should be mapped out but the system should be adaptable enough to allow for days when you aren’t up to making the assigned progression and those days when you ARE but aren’t scheduled. In other words – if you’re feeling awesome one day, go for the PR even if it isn’t scheduled because your body is ready. It might not be when the calendar says to max…
PPS – The hunting I’m fine with, the rest of the preparation is what I’d rather avoid. I’d need a nice cavewoman to do the rest 😉
The second paragraph was SARCASM and we WOULD be great training partners!
And after training, you could cure the bacon 😉
OMG! Did I just say that? JOKING!
Adam
I think it’s early dementia brought about by the caffeine… Going caffeine free and taking lot’s of fish oil should help.. 🙂
LOL No, I meant fish. Actually Cod Liver Oil AND Fish Oil. 🙂
Adam,
That is a wonderful setup! I home school my children and live in the mountains of North Carolina. I need to show this to my hubby and get it on the honey-do list (:
I have heard of the SINS challenge and will have to read more about it.
Thanks
Selina
What’s going on the Honey Do List, Selina!?!